Positive design gossip is my new love language

Plus weird rituals, emotional first-aid kits, and a snazzy bathroom

I blinked and suddenly it’s May. I’ll take it!

I’m writing this from an Amtrak somewhere north of the city (peak low-budget Carrie Bradshaw vibes), coming back from a quick trip to NYC. While I was killing time in Washington Square Park (eating a bagel, listening to jazz—could I be any more cliche?!), I stumbled upon this article about how to live a happier life.

Unlike most sweeping self-help advice, this one felt… actually doable? No “quit your job and move to Tuscany” recs. Just small, oddly specific suggestions like: sing to your dinner, gossip kindly, make it a point to do vacation-y things in real life.

I haven’t stopped thinking about it, so I’m going to share it with you! And the funny thing is, I realized I was already doing some of these things, just not always on purpose. Now I’m going to make it a point to lean in and do them more often.

Here are four of my favorite ideas from the piece (with my own spin), and how to adapt them in your life.

Spread positive (design) gossip

It’s time to give gossip a little PR makeover.

In short, positive gossip is saying nice things behind someone’s back—things you admire, things you notice, things you actually mean. I’ve been doing this forever and I’m thrilled that it has a name! I live for a compliment. And when I give one, I mean it.

So allow me to propose a new subgenre: positive *design* gossip.

You know those super specific tiny details that you notice at your friend’s house? Tell them you love it, and be really specific about why. Text them that you can’t stop thinking about their hallway paint color. Tell them their bookshelves made you want to finally tackle your own. Compliment the small table lamp in their kitchen. People love being seen for the things they choose on purpose.

The more you do it, the more you notice how beautiful everything really is. Especially the little things.

Also relevant:

greatness

A post shared by @greatness

Start a weird home ritual

The original article mentioned a family who stuck candles in a meatloaf and sang “Happy Meatloaf to You” to get their daughter to eat dinner. Meatloaf = suddenly special. I kind of love that.

Your version doesn’t need to involve ground beef. It could be lighting your vegetable-shaped candle every time you clean the kitchen. Or making up a handshake that your friend has to do every time they visit.

Mine is food-related—just for my Basset Hound, Lady. Austin and I have built an entire ritual around her meals: there’s a made-up song (with choreography), and the presentation of her kibble is extremely theatrical. Depending on how we “prepare” the meal, there’s a different song. Austin even got me a custom piece of art with the lyrics, completely indecipherable to anyone else. A friend once saw it and asked, “Wait… what is this from?” Exactly.

Weird rituals are the best kind.

Lady’s food corner 😎

Vacation-ify your house

One expert suggested this: write down what you loved about your last trip, then create “mini versions” of it at home. I’ve actually been preaching this for years—it’s a classic designer move. You don’t have to recreate the trip (yet) but rather, bottle up the feeling.

The last room I vacationified was our bathroom. I painted over the really bright green walls with a dusty mauve, rolled my tiny makeup towels like a fancy spa would, softened the lighting, and added a candle I definitely overpaid for. But now it feels like my version of a nice hotel bathroom.

You don’t have to go full interior refresh though. Try a robe instead of sweats. Or serve breakfast on a tray and call it room service. Even 3% more vacation energy is still more vacation energy.

She’s moody!!!

Build an emotional first-aid kit

This one’s simple: gather the things in your home that make you feel better on hard days, and keep them ready for emotional emergencies.

Mine currently includes:

• An oversized sweatshirt of Austin’s that makes me feel safe and cozy

• A hidden stash of emergency candy

• Fully charged headphones—because nothing ruins my spiral like not being able to soundtrack it properly

• A clean, extra soft throw blanket to curl up in

• Eye patches (chilled)

• And an “evidence folder” of texts, emails, and DMs that remind me I’m loved—even when I forget

There’s nothing like a few go-to comforts that make you feel like yourself again.

If you try any of these (or already have a weird home ritual, emotional survival tip, or meatloaf-worthy moment), please send it my way. And while you’re at it, text your friend to tell them you love that very specific thing in their home.

xo
Daniela