The surprising upside of not having it figured out
On asking the question before you’re ready—and launching something new
Hi friends!
Thank you for all the kind and thoughtful replies about the cabin plumbing saga. I wasn’t expecting it to resonate so deeply, but so many of you reached out with stories of your own: the projects that didn’t go as planned but ultimately became something better anyway. We love an unexpected success story!
It reminded me how comforting it is to share something a little messy and be met with a me too instead of a you should’ve.
That same energy emerged in a totally different way this year: a writing workshop I joined (10/10 recommend doing something that scares you just enough to hit send and then immediately want to disappear into the floor). I almost didn’t share anything because everything I wrote felt too rambly, too “what even is this about?” But I did it anyway, and I’m glad I did!
What I realized through the experience was that nobody else had it “all figured out” like I had made up in my head. We were all going through the motions, sharing something earnestly in a way that made us want to throw up a little, too.
I’ve been thinking about how rare that is, to not only say here’s where I’m unsure, but to do it in front of other people. And how often that moment, the one that feels the most uncertain, unready, too-soon, is actually the beginning of something really good.
It’s something I’ve seen again and again in one-on-one consultations, and it’s exactly what I’m hoping to cultivate with Dear Daniela, a new monthly group call I’m getting ready to launch. Six people. One call. Real questions. No judgment.
Some examples of questions I’ve gotten recently:
Is Farrow & Ball paint really worth it? It’s pricey and my painter hates using it. Can I just color match?
I painted everything butter yellow and now I feel like I live inside a banana. Did I jump on a trend I don’t even like?
My partner is obsessed with sports memorabilia and wants that reflected in our home. I cannot stand it! Help!
I’m in a rental with boob lights and the worst fixtures imaginable…
I’ve been staring at Chantilly Lace and White Dove samples for weeks. How do I know which white paint to go with?
I want to try stripes in my room but I’m scared it’ll look like a circus tent.
What I love is how often one person’s question opens something up for someone else. Even in individual calls, there are these “same here” moments that I know would really ripple in a group. That’s the kind of space I want Dear Daniela to be, one where asking the question is the brave part, and we figure it out together. Maybe that’s the real upside: you get to stop waiting until it’s perfect to begin (because we all know the trap of perfection). 😉
If you’d like to join in on the first one, you can book a spot here. In the meantime, if you’re in that weird in-between (creatively, design-wise, or otherwise), here’s a little homework to loosen the grip:
Screenshot the thing you want to try—a paint color, a pattern, a design idea—and get excited about what it might be
Move one object in your space and see what shifts
Say the thing you’re hoping for out loud (even if it’s just to yourself)
Let one imperfect idea live in the open
Call a friend and talk about said imperfect idea (just see what happens!)
Pick one. No pressure. Just a nudge.
Some housekeeping and exciting updates: I just launched a paid subscriber tier here on Substack! I went back and forth on whether to turn it on, but I’m trying to build something sustainable… and maybe quietly fulfill my dream of writing my own magazine. This feels like the start of it. If you’re up for coming along, I’d be so grateful.
As a paid subscriber, you’ll get access to a private chat where you can submit your design or color question for Dear Daniela. Each month, I’ll choose one to answer in the newsletter, for free. Kind of like an advice column, but with real people and real rooms (hi, you!).
I’m also introducing monthly color challenges and deep dives for paid subs. Think palette explorations, design experiments, and tiny nudges to help you use color more intentionally (and confidently) at home.
That said, if now’s not the time to go paid, no stress. You’ll still get a lot of good stuff here. This space will always be filled with color, curiosity, and fun design talk—scout’s honor! The paid tier just unlocks a few extra layers for anyone who wants to go deeper and support. ❤️
Next week, you can expect a round-up of extra joyful things because we can all use that right about now. Here’s a sneak peek: the happiest chair I’ve ever seen in my life (you’re welcome):
xo Daniela